It's Okay To Not Be Okay
Lately, I've been receiving a lot of emails, messages to the If You Can Dream It Do It Facebook page, and having coffees with various friends and strangers, who all unknowingly have a common thread, they feel lost. "I thought by this time in my life I'd be further." "I thought by doing this, I would get there," and the variations continue, but the symptom is the same, people are coming up short of their expectations for their life. "I thought my life would be a certain way and it's not", or "this is hard, very, very hard, because it's not what I expected."
I don't know why, but it's on my heart tonight to share that it is
not be okay
I think maybe for the first time, I'm learning, it's okay to let people in, to let them know you too are figuring things out. For a long time, my career has evolved in lots of shiny red carpets, star studded interviews, and I had to hustle like hell to get those interviews. But, when I meet with girls who want to be in journalism or who want to go further in their career, it seems like it's a similar theme, that's so awesome you had that, but "........" and the confusion rears it ugly head into them believing they can't. And I can relate, when things don't work out how you thought, you wonder if the problem is you, and can end up believing it is, which in turn restricts you from opportunities, because you're stuck thinking you're not good enough.
I don't know why, but lately I've been running into, or responding back to probably at least 50 correspondences in this regard just this past month. I don't have it figured out, in fact, if I'm being eerily honest, at the point right now where I am, I wonder if this is even right. Did I make a mistake? Should I have taken this crazy leap of faith to a town where I know no one, to pursue something I wasn't even half certain what that would be? Was that stupid to leave years of work in LA, to dive into murky, murky waters in a much smaller market? It's easy to get lost in a tunnel of thoughts wondering if this diversion to Nashville is even going to move forward, or will this be chalked up to a mistake, when I look back at my life?
I know it won't be. I know there is purpose in this season, and I know I've already learned a lot during this time, but right now, it's easy to fall victim to that inner critic, and I'm learning I'm not alone in the slightest. I don't know if it's because as a generation we are surrounded by other's success, and everyone is achieving various different pillars of success in their own story. I don't know if it's because we've stopped being honest with another, because we don't want to reek of feeling like we've failed, like we're inadequate, or won't be successful. But, what I do know is that in this season, I'm learning to be more courageous in being honest. In doing that, I've found that there is an overwhelming amount of people who feel the exact same way. Lost. Lost in their personal life, lost in their career, lost in their city, lonely...and I want you to know it is okay. It is okay to not be okay, because that is what it means to be human, to be imperfect. We're not bullet proof, so let's stop acting like it, so we can lend each other some grace in these seasons, and in these times.
“When we spend our lives waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make,” says Brown. “
are seductive, but they don’t exist in the human experience.” -Brene Brown