#PerfectNever Learning The Art of Balance
Teaming up with Reebok for their campaign, #PerfectNever has been amazing. We're on our second month of partnering together. I had planned to have this whole pretty post, but life happens, and I felt what happened, actually resonated way more than my pretty post I had originally planned.
This past week the art of balance very much came into play, and in that art I realized you know it's really just a dance, sometimes you mess up, sometimes you learn you want to go about things a different way, you have to make choices, and in the end we're simply not perfect. Life isn't perfect.
This Thanksgiving was different for a lot of different reasons. I thought about past Thanksgivings, when I was living in LA, and visiting Texas for a very short amount of time, in order to hurry back to work, and to all the events I had planned. When I would visit, I'd always be on my phone, sending emails, answering emails, etc.
The nature of news and working as a reporter, is when news breaks, you work, and since I was young for my position, I constantly wanted to prove that I could always be on top of whatever was breaking. I strove to be the very best, whether that was answering an email at 1 am or at 1 pm on the weekend. So, I remember one Thanksgiving sitting with my family after eating, and seeing an email trickle in about a possible big story, I excused myself and went into the other room to sort out what was happening. I then sat piecing together the timeline, sending emails as fast as my thumbs would type them, calling witnesses, and building the story for hours, while my family continued to celebrate the holiday. I remember just sitting at the dining room table, with various pieces of computer paper, with names, timelines, emails, phone numbers, and shooing away curious family members until the job was done. It was an adrenaline that just naturally comes when you work in the industry, you work tirelessly piecing together the puzzle, and the Today Show even picked up my interviews the following days as the story grew. It was a career high to be able to say that my interviews and reporting were key in such a trending story, and picked up by the Today Show, and other large news outlets.
However, I remember getting on the plane, and thinking to myself how little I actually interacted with my family, during the holiday, because of the big story, and it made me think how little I actually even saw them because of how much I was pouring myself into my career, into my "dream."
This Thanksgiving was different. I was coming from Nashville, my new home, and I came a lot earlier than expected, because my Papa Bill had fallen unexpectedly ill. Right before Thanksgiving, he passed away, and we scheduled his funeral for the following week.
Obviously, I would be there, but I hadn't planned to be in Texas for that long, and I had been booked to interview Luke Bryan, Chris Stapleton, and some other well known artists the night before the funeral. It'd be nearly impossible to be able to do both.
So, I missed the event and the interviews, because I needed and wanted to be there with my family. But, it wasn't to be honest without some painful "ugh, this is such a bummer," conversations. I'm learning as I get older, life is messy, it's filled with decisions, tough ones. For years in LA, as much as I tried to "balance," my career with a personal life, the pendulum always swung to my career. My drive to achieve in my career overshadowed relationships. I've made a conscious effort to be more diligent in valuing a personal life, but it hasn't been an easy process, it's been messy, and terribly uncomfortable to un-learn not having my phone glued to my hand.
On Wednesday, I took my Grandma to lunch, my family is big and we are all so close, but I couldn't even tell you the last time I had one on one time with her, because I'm always in and out, on to the next big career thing. That evening, I took my Doe out to dinner too. It wasn't how I had originally planned for that day to look, I had been planning for weeks my questions, and coverage for the event with Luke Bryan and Chris Stapleton, my outfit, but that's life, and it's how we react that matters. That two hour lunch with my Grandma, talking about life, catching up, I realized I was exactly where I was supposed to be, I got to spend time with two amazing women who've been there for my entire life, time with my family, and was present in those moments.
#PerfectNever. Life isn't perfect, it throws you curve balls, you have to make tough decisions. Maybe it's less about being perfect, and more about being more human, about simply showing up.